


The Refrigerator Purification

by Jenni_Snake



Category: Big Bang Theory
Genre: Comedy, First Kiss, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-10
Updated: 2011-10-10
Packaged: 2017-10-24 11:29:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/262972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jenni_Snake/pseuds/Jenni_Snake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cleaning out the fridge isn't as tidy as it sounds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Refrigerator Purification

**Author's Note:**

  * For [concupiscence66](https://archiveofourown.org/users/concupiscence66/gifts).



> who prompted me to write more dialogue - challenge accepted!  
> (originally published 2010/12/12)

-I still don't understand why I'm helping you clean out your mother's fridge.

-Because she threw her back out at aquacise...

-Is that even possible?

-...and she asked me to do it.

-Okay, then why am I doing it?

-Because you decided to spend the evening at Casa Wolowitz. Here, can you hold this?

-Eww, what is that?

-It's gefilte fish, and watch out, the jar's a bit greasy.

-That's disgusting. And I'm not touching it.

-You wouldn't have to touch it if you put on a pair of rubber gloves.

-No way, dude, they make my hands sweaty. And they've got little flowers on them.

-So do mine!

-Yeah, but it matches your apron. Besides, you're the one holding the gefilte fish.

-Fine, I'll put it in the sink myself. Don't worry, you just relax. You look nice and comfy on the counter. Do you want me to get you anything?

-A cup of tea would be nice...

-...

-Oh. ... Uh, is that half a bottle of ketchup? With what looks like the other half on the outside? You're not going to keep that, are you?

-No, that was my mother's failed attempt at sweet and sour chicken balls. ... What are you grinning at?

-Hee hee. 'Balls.'

-Yeah, real mature.

-You're real mature!

-Sheesh.

-What's sheesh?

-It's 'sheesh'. It means 'jeeze'. It's used to express annoyance.

-I have a cousin Sheesh. She's very annoying. ... Ooo, what's that?

-I wonder if there's a language where 'Rajesh' is used to express annoyance... It's whip cream. Here.

-No no no - whip cream is very thick cream that comes in a carton and you have to pull a muscle in your arm to make fluffy. This is whip cream _in a can!_

-Whatever, just be careful with it, it's probably expired.

-'Shake can well before use.' Ok. ... Oops!

-Raj!

-Sorry! But don't worry, you're wearing an apron!

-Not on my arms and my back I'm not!

-You're right - I missed your back, let me fix that... ... Oh, don't look so shocked.

-Ok, I'll stop looking so shocked when I've wiped that smug grin off your face. Here.

-Oh my God! This is one of my favourite sweaters!

-Don't worry, the mustard blends right in. And I hear it does wonders for your skin.

-Oh yeah, well what does ketchup do?

-All right, that's the last straw.

-But it matches your apron!

-Match this!

-That yoghurt better not be expired.

-Let me check. Um... Hey! Gefilte fish is not for throwing!

-Don't worry, it was mostly jelly. Here, have some more whip cream to go with it.

-That's not how you serve gefilte fish!

-You should though, it's quite tasty.

-That is revolting.

-Hey, when you grow up in poverty, you don't waste food, not even in a food fight.

-You didn't grow up in poverty!

-I know, I'm just saying.

-Here, then, have some maraschino cherries with your dessert.

-Ew, that one got mustard on it. That's disgusting!

-That is what you choose to describe as disgusting? All right, I'll try again.

-That's better. This one got whip cream on it. Mmm. ... You know, I can tie a knot in a cherry stem with my tongue.

-No, you can't.

-Yes, I can...

-No, you - Oh... my... God, yes you can.

-You're standing between my legs.

-I know...

-I feel so tall.

-You have some whip cream on the corner of your mouth. Let me get that...

-... That's nice... I can put more whip cream on my lips if you like.

-No, that's ok, I don't need it. ...

-...

-...

-Is this that 'ersatz homosexual marriage' Leonard's mother was talking about?

-Well I don't think there's anything 'ersatz' about it now.

-Huh. I think you’re right. Another cherry?


End file.
